I have come to realize a few things. You have all probably noticed that I am shooting a lot less these days? Well, part of the reason is I have been extremely busy with our move and renovations but also..
I believe school has changed me. It seems that it robbed me of my creativity, and my drive to “just try” this or that. While in school I think I was too busy to be creative, ( because for me it takes time) I was too rushed in order to get things done in time. Too worried about being “wrong”. Now out of school, I am thinking about it way too much instead of just doing. I am worried about being wrong or not perfect and it has taken all the fun out of it. and! I am constantly trying to recall all the information that was jammed into my head.
I thought I would walk out of there with lots of confidence and a bit of a know it all.. ( but not a snotty one! haha) I just mean knowing what I was doing technically without thinking so hard so that I can just concentrate on the people and things I am photographing. I do know a lot more and it has become easier but it is gained with time and experience .. so needless to say, that is what I need to do!
I have spent the last month stressed & trying to get us settled into our new home and setting up my studio. I need it functional so that I can start making some money. Which brings me to the other thing I realized. I need to start making money and that puts even more pressure on “doing it right” and hurry up about it! I need to advertise and get known here, stop worrying about whether I am good enough and just do it. It takes time though, so unless I suddenly get busy I will be finding a job to supplement my income for now. That will help take the pressure off and allow me to just have fun with it.
I have also realized I am homesick for some things. Of course, I miss my family & friends and seeing them whenever I want, and seeing a friendly face wherever you go. I miss working at the animal shelter with my kids. I miss the shorter travel time for Chris to go to and from work. I miss the ability to just hop on a quad and go. Photography wise.. I miss seeing the sun actually going down to the horizon and the beautiful sunsets with it. I miss the snow (not the cold!) just the white trees, the crisp clean landscape (and backdrop). That could be because we have only had one snowfall here so far and it was just a day of soggy snow. Nothing but rain & gloomy clouds for the past couple of months. I also miss the wide open spaces with nobody in them. You could pretty much go out and photograph anywhere and not have to worry about people being there. I am sure I can find that here too, its just a matter of getting out there and finding it. There are a lot of things that I love about here & I am so grateful that we could be here, I am just missing those parts of the north right now and wishing that it wasn’t so far away.
To conclude this little tell all post, hopefully you will be seeing a lot more from me as I shoot more, think less and have fun again. I need newborns, beautiful expectant moms, babies, kids, families & couples in love. I need to get out and find the breathtaking scenery and make some art. I will be going up to the mountains to visit the snow! I need to play in my studio and experiment with all the artsy shots I wanted to try. I need to see more of my work in print (and maybe even sell some). I need to just shoot and love it again. So that is what I shall do.
I have some very special visitors coming for Christmas to look forward to!! ( so excited!!!!!) and I hope to get back home for a visit in the spring!
Thanks again for all your support, it means so very much to me!
PS: As I was finishing up this post and about to sign out – the sun came out! A sign? I think so 🙂 Have a great day everyone!